My Dad’s Funeral Message

            Friends and family, we are gathered here this morning to say goodbye and show our love for a husband, a father, and a friend. On behalf of the family, I want to thank you for joining us here today as we remember my dad, Tom Peterson.

 

            Thomas Robert Peterson was born on October 15, 1949, to Bob and Ola Peterson. Dad grew up in Dongola, and eventually married Janie Wright on January 11, 1968. Soon after, the Petersons had 3 sons, Jeff, Jody, and Travis.

 

            If you knew my dad, you know that he loved to laugh, loved to hunt, loved to golf, and loved his family. When it comes to laughing, Dad laughed often and laughed loudly. Honestly, he probably thought he was funnier than he really was. Dad often called me when he heard or read a new joke. He was always kidding us about something, and was often eager to remind us of those little moments in the past that we might have rather forgotten. Just ask Mom how long it took for her to stop being reminded about the experiment with Tuna Helper—the only real cooking disaster that I remember as a child.

 

            Dad loved to hunt, to golf, and to do just about anything outside. I remember coon hunting, deer hunting, turkey hunting, fishing, and just about anything else he could come up with to hunt. And Dad was pretty good. The home I grew up in sported a couple of very attractive deer heads to let us know. By the way, Dad was never happy when we chose to accessorize his deer heads by dressing them up with whatever hats and sunglasses we could find around the house.

 

            Dad also loved his family. He always griped whenever we had parties at our house or wanted to take family photos, but he was always right there in the middle of what we were doing. He especially loved his grandchildren, Taylor, Valerie, Abigail, Alyssa, Josiah, and Owen.   

 

            Truthfully, Dad was willing to adopt lots of others into the family. Many of you who are here today are probably people that he thought of as family. I’m certain that he loved many of you as his own.

 

            My dad passed away on Saturday, August 31, at 8:23 PM in his home. He was 63. He had been in a ten-month battle with a very aggressive cancer. Thanks to the efforts and love of so many, Dad had a surprisingly good last several months. The doctors and nurses who cared for him did a great job of managing his pain, of knocking out symptoms, and of slowing down the progress of his cancer. Dad appreciated every call, every visit, every card, and every person who told him that they were praying for him.

 

            One thing that I was privileged to be able to do over the last few months was to talk with my dad very openly and honestly about what was to come. Dad expressed to me total confidence in his faith in Christ and in the life to come.

 

            Dad was raised by Christian parents, but for most of his youth he did not make following God a priority. It was after the death of his mother in 1995 that Dad really began to think about the serious truths of life and death, heaven and hell, salvation and sin. Not long after, during a revival service at First Baptist Church in Dongola, Dad prayed to receive Jesus Christ as his Savior.

 

            Like any believer in Christ, Dad grew at times and struggled at times. However, Dad never let go of his faith and Christ certainly never let go of him. Dad shared his faith with others, and was so pleased to see some with whom he shared receive Christ. I will always remember how excited Dad was when Ted Earnhart prayed to receive Jesus just before his own passing. 

 

            When I would talk with Dad about what was to come, he was confident even though he was not looking forward to the hard road ahead. He knew that his sickness would eventually take his life. But he also knew that the Bible is clear that a Christian who is absent from his body is immediately present with God. Dad knew that, the moment of his passing from this life in his cancer-ravaged body, his soul would go to be in the presence of God. He knew that he would be free from pain, free from sorrow, and more joyful than ever before.

 

            Dad leaves behind a loving family and lots of great friends. We will miss him. But we would not want to take away the joy he has in the presence of God for anything in the world.

 

            Let me open God’s word with you here this morning. I want to take a few moments to talk with my family, but I want you all to listen in too.

 

            There are two topics that the Bible puts together for us to consider as we walk through this hard time together. So, for just a moment, let’s think about grief and about hope.

 

            One of my favorite passages that I think of when I think of a grieving family is Philippians 2:25-27. In this odd little passage of Scripture, the apostle Paul is writing to a church. Apparently, one of Paul’s friends came from that church and nearly died of an illness. Here is what Paul said.

 

Philippians 2:25-27 (ESV)

25 I have thought it necessary to send to you Epaphroditus my brother and fellow worker and fellow soldier, and your messenger and minister to my need, 26 for he has been longing for you all and has been distressed because you heard that he was ill. 27 Indeed he was ill, near to death. But God had mercy on him, and not only on him but on me also, lest I should have sorrow upon sorrow.

 

            In that little passage is a very important truth for any of us to understand. Grief, sorrow at the loss of a loved one, is normal and right. Paul, when discussing even potential grief, declared that he had been spared sorrow upon sorrow.

 

            So, learn this from the Bible. Grief is normal. Sorrow here is normal. Don’t let yourself feel the need to put on a brave face so that people won’t see you grieve. Even Jesus wept at a friend’s funeral in John 11:35. Throughout the Bible, we see time and time again the people of God mourning the loss of someone special. The people of Israel wept at the deaths of Abraham, Jacob, Moses, and many others. It was normal. It was not wrong. It was totally OK for the people to show emotion at the loss of someone special. 

 

            But the Bible also tells us something about grief besides that it is normal. Grief is normal, but it is not hopeless. Those who know Jesus have sorrow at our partings, but we do not sorrow like people who do not have any hope.

 

            Listen to Paul teach us about the hope we have for all who pass away in Christ.

 

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 (ESV)

13 But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. 14 For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep. 15 For this we declare to you by a word from the Lord, that we who are alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will descend from heaven with a cry of command, with the voice of an archangel, and with the sound of the trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive, who are left, will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we will always be with the Lord. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.

 

            The passage I just read to you contains a perfect example of a Christians response to grief, grieving with hope.

 

            In verse 13, Paul begins by saying, “But we do not want you to be uninformed, brothers, about those who are asleep, that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope.” This is God’s word talking to us about believers who have died. That phrase, “those who have fallen asleep,” is a metaphor for death. It is not an indication that those who have died are asleep in reality. They are not in some sort of stasis. Other passages such as Luke 16:19-31, Revelation 6:9-11, Philippians 1:23, and 2 Corinthians 5:6-8 all indicate to us that, when a person’s spirit departs from his or her body, that person is immediately awake and aware. Those who have been forgiven by Christ are immediately alive in a new way in the presence of God.

 

            Because those who go before us in Christ are immediately in the presence of God, we grieve, but not without hope. We have sorrow, but that sorrow is tempered. We know that we will miss our loved ones. We know that it is going to be a long time before we can see them again. But we also know, if we also have faith in Christ, that we will not be parted from our loved ones forever.

 

            Honestly, I do not know how those who do not believe in the Bible and in the resurrection of Jesus handle times like this. To believe that life comes to an end and that nothing follows would be overwhelmingly sad. That would be grief with no hope, no future.

 

            But Paul goes on to help us know what our hope is when he describes what is to come. From verses 13-17 of 1 Thessalonians 4, which we already read, Paul describes for us the return of Jesus Christ. He tells how Christ will descend from heaven with a loud cry. HE tells how, at that return, the dead in Christ will arise. I have no idea what that will look like. But the Bible is totally clear that those who have gone before us in Christ will return with Jesus. They will somehow be given brand new resurrection bodies. They will live again, physically, not just spiritually And they will live with Jesus forever.

 

            Then, at the end of the passage, Paul tells us to encourage each other with these words. AS we sorrow, as we grieve, we also encourage each other with hope. God promised that all who have died in Christ will live again. He has promised that They are not missing anything of eternal significance. He has promised that they are not lost forever. He has guaranteed to us that people like my dad who placed their faith in Jesus have life even now and they will have even greater life when Christ returns.

 

            This week, I have found myself reading a passage in John 6 that gives the very same hope. Listen to these words of Jesus. 

 

John 6:37-40 (ESV)

37 “All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out. 38 For I have come down from heaven, not to do my own will but the will of him who sent me. 39 And this is the will of him who sent me, that I should lose nothing of all that he has given me, but raise it up on the last day. 40 For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.”

 

            Do you hear that hope? Listen again to verse 40: “For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.” Jesus promises that he will raise to physical, beautiful, eternal life every single person who has ever put their faith in him. This is our hope.

 

            I know that it is possible that you are here this morning and this sounds so strange to you. I believe that my dad would want you to understand this as much as you can. He would want you to know how you can have the hope I’m talking about. He would want you to have the hope that the Bible promises.

 

            Here is the simple truth of the whole Bible boiled down. There is one God, the God who created the universe. That God is perfect and holy. He has never failed. He does all things rightly. Because he made us, he has the right to call us to obey his commands and to judge us when we do not.

 

            And the truth is, none of us have ever obeyed God’s commands rightly. Dad used to say to me that he believed every person sins every day. While I don’t know if I would say it quite that strongly, I do know that the Bible tells us that every person has sinned and fallen short of God’s glory (Romans 3:23). None of us is perfect. All of us have failed to do everything we should do. All of us have, at times, done things that are against the commands of God. None of us is righteous on our own, not even one (c.f. Romans 3:10-12)

 

            This leaves us with quite a problem. God is perfect and a perfect judge. We are not perfect. We deserve to be judged by God. If we are left to ourselves, we have no hope at all. We can never do enough good to make up for failing to follow the commands of the perfect God who made us.

 

            But God did something wonderful. God chose to make a way for us to be forgiven. God had a plan from before the dawn of time to rescue people who could never rescue themselves. This is why Jesus came to earth.

 

            Jesus is God the Son, God in flesh. He lived a perfect life. He never failed where we fail. He then died on a Roman cross as a sacrifice for the sins of others. Then, on the third day after his death Jesus rose from the dead, he came back to life.

 

            Now God places before every single one of us a choice. He put this same choice before my dad. There are really only two options. You can either choose to ask Jesus to pay for your sins against God or you can choose to receive God’s judgment for your sins. If you choose not to trust in Jesus, you do not have the promise of eternal life. All that faces you is the promise of a judgment that is too horrible for me to describe to you.

 

            But there is good news. If you will turn from your sins and trust in Jesus, God will rescue you. Turning from your sins means that you acknowledge that Jesus is your Lord and Master. You certainly won’t follow him perfectly, none of us do, but you will be committed to him being in charge instead of you.

 

            Trusting in Jesus simply means that you believe that Jesus is God who came to earth. You believe that what he did on the cross and by returning from the dead is your only hope. In a very real sense, you place all of your hope for all of your eternity in the person of Jesus and in his finished work. You say to him, “ Please forgive me and make me your own. I have no hope of heaven apart from you and what you have done.”

 

            I remember well telling this truth to my dad on more than one occasion. Finally, when the time was right, God helped my dad to see how true it really is. God drew my dad to himself. Dad asked Jesus to be his Savior And God forgave my dad for all of the wrong he had ever done or would ever do. God promised my dad a home with him in heaven forever. God promised my dad a new life and a new body to last forever. God promised my dad that, when Jesus returns, he will return with him, have a new body, and never get sick or hurt again. God made my dad new by God’s own grace through faith in Jesus. Dad did nothing to earn God’s favor, he could not have done so. All dad did is trusted in Jesus and tried, to the best of his ability, to turn from his sin. God did all the work. God did all the real changing. God forgave Dad.

 

            And God is willing to do the same for you. If you would like the hope that my dad had as he approached the end of his days in this life, believe in Jesus. Ask Jesus for grace. Commit yourself to follow him. And then these words from Jesus will be true of you, “For this is the will of my Father, that everyone who looks on the Son and believes in him should have eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.”

 

            We will miss Dad very much. We will need to love and comfort each other for many days to come. But we grieve with hope. Dad has life with Jesus. I know he would want all who are here to have that same life too.