How do you feel when you read through on-line posts? I know that my own experience is a mixed bag. Some days I am encouraged. Other days, I find myself thinking with Obi-Wan, “You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.” Some days I find fun things that make me laugh. Some days I find nasty rants that make me want to turn from the Internet for months. And, sadly, the good, the bad, and the ugly are posts I find when looking at the feeds of folks I know to be genuine believers.
One of the beautiful things about blogging and posting on social media is the fact that we can engage important issues in a pseudo-public square. Obviously, the Internet is not a truly public square, as we are not face-to-face, and there is always a chance that the owners of the platform will ban or hide content with which they disagree. But the Internet is still a place where we can communicate with far more people than many of us would otherwise speak to in our daily lives. And I do not want to give up on attempts to honor God, encourage believers, address issues, and even share the gospel on-line so long as the forum is one, we can access.
Sadly, as I’m sure you have seen, decorum in conversation on-line can sometimes leave something to be desired. The anonymity of on-line conversation and the physical distance between participants lends itself to a level of harshness and cruelty on-line that would be highly unlikely in a civilized public setting. Some folks are just mean from the keyboard.
Some who write with a harsher style are simply mean and sinful. Some, however, genuinely believe that it is right to speak and write strongly, sharply, about issues of importance. After all, Paul was pretty harsh with the Galatians and Corinthians. Jesus was sharp with the Pharisees, calling them whitewashed tombs and a brood of vipers (little snake babies).
The concept of decorum in on-line discussion came to my mind this morning as I was reading through Paul’s second letter to Timothy. In this letter, Paul is facing his own execution. And the apostle wants to prepare Timothy to do ministry in the years to come, years when Paul will not be there to guide his protégé. Notice how Paul tells Timothy to address problem people and controversial topics.
2 Timothy 2:23–26
Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will.
While I will not present this little paragraph as the final word on all forms of communication, and while I will not be the one to police the tone of others—especially not those who are not part of the church where I serve—allow me to call your attention to some of the final words Paul has for a young minister. In these 3 verses, we find three important reminders that should guide how we interact in person and on-line, especially when dealing with controversies. And this advice applies in conversation with the saved and the lost.
First, avoid foolish arguments. Not every topic requires your opinion. Not every error of every person needs your hand of correction. There are issues out there that simply do not matter. There are topics that only breed quarrels and arguments, and God is clear here in his word that we do not need to be quarrelsome. If you pride yourself in being argumentative on-line, you are priding yourself in something that Paul warns against.
Second, be kind. Even when you do find the need to engage in controversial discussion, if kindness is absent, something is wrong. In this passage, God says to you to be kind to everyone and to correct others with gentleness. Kindness and gentleness along with patience are fruit of the Spirit. No Christian should be engaging in discussion of topics without the fruit of the Spirit.
Third, engage with the glory of God and the good of the other’s soul in mind. If you are arguing with a lost person, your desire should be that the Lord, by his sovereign power, would save this person’s soul. While that does not mean you compromise on telling the truth, it should impact how you write. Do not treat others as if they are faceless robots or enemies in a video game. Engage people as—get this—people made in the image of God who need the grace of God as much as you. And when your interlocutor is a believer who is mistaken on a doctrine, keep their good in mind as you tell the truth. As Paul told Timothy, you want to see them freed from the snare of the devil. Your goal is that other person’s good, not to crush them and make yourself feel big.
Dear friends, I am not suggesting for a moment that we compromise the truth of God to shield the feelings of others. Sometimes we will have to say things that, because of the very truth they represent, are offensive to the lost and to those caught up in godless thinking. Tell the truth. But speak the truth in love. No, I do not assume that, if you are kinder, you will persuade people to the faith with your sweetness. But, for the glory of God, by the fruit of the Spirit, in obedience to Scripture, tell the truth with patience, kindness, and gentleness. If you trust in the power of a sovereign God who changes hearts, you can honor him by writing respectfully, kindly, and clearly without being nasty, quarrelsome, and mean-spirited.
Pastor Travis Peterson 