Tag: Providence Reformed Church

As a Christian, are you still learning? I surely hope that you are. But I also know that, in the church, there can be an almost anti-learning tendency among some of us.

 

What do I mean? There are those in the church who would say that we do not need more learning, but we need more action and practical application. I would happily agree that we need to be putting our faith into practice. But I would wholeheartedly disagree that there is ever a point where the believer in the Lord Jesus stops studying, stops thinking, and stops learning.

 

Proverbs 19:27- Cease to hear instruction, my son, and you will stray from the words of knowledge.

 

The moment we stop hearing instruction, we start being tempted away from knowledge. It is as if our growth is a ball being rolled up a hill. We have to put forth effort to keep learning and keep growing. The moment we think we no longer need to push, the ball begins to roll down. We stop growing. WE slide toward error. We start to miss the beauties of the truths found in the word of God.

 

I know that not all people are into the “scholarly” side of the faith. And I understand that, if things are presented in a dry and purely academic manner, they can end up distasteful. But the truth is, study is supposed to be a part of our lives. Learning doctrine truly matters, and it is not something that you finish in a couple of years as a believer never to open again. When a good study of the word of God and of biblical doctrine takes place, people see who the Lord is and they see how the Lord has chosen to reveal himself. As we study, we see in greater depth and detail the marvelous way that the Lord has chosen to structure the universe and the church in the world to most greatly magnify his name.

 

Maybe you are not wired to read a hundred books per year. I get that. But the question is: Do you study? Are you reading books or listening to solid teachers who stretch your brain? If not, you are missing out. Yes, go for the practical. Get hands-on. Share the gospel, help the needy, live in fellowship. But there is not one of those things that you can do well without also feeding your soul with deep and accurate biblical doctrine. So study, because to cease to do so is to cease following the way of wisdom.

There is an interesting discussion that is out there among Christians as to whether or not it is OK to be angry with God. This is actually not a difficult question. The confusion arises because the people on opposite sides of the issue are talking about different things while using the same terminology. There is a failure to communicate.

 

It is not OK, meaning non-sinful, to hold anger against God. We have no right to accuse the Lord of doing wrong. That, of course is what anger is all about. We get mad at someone for wronging us. So, anger at God is not OK.

 

The other side, however, talks about anger against God being OK because God is big enough to handle it. The point of this group is that God is gracious, all-knowing, and trustworthy. So, they argue that, if we are upset by the way the Lord has done things or allowed things to happen, we should be honest enough with God to tell him about it and express our feelings.

 

I consider the second position dangerous and bordering on the sinful, but it has an element of truth in it. If you are upset with the Lord, confession and communication should be high on your list. Tell the Lord. Do not rage against him as if you can do that with impunity. But do speak the truth of your lack of understanding. Confess to him that you do not know all things as he does. Share with him the depth of your hurt, and the Lord will be gracious to you if you are in Christ.

 

There is, also one kind of anger against the Lord that is extremely common, and which is never, not ever, OK. WE find it in the wise counsel of the book of Proverbs.

 

Proverbs 19:3 – When a man’s folly brings his way to ruin, his heart rages against the Lord.

 

Some people rage against God when their own conduct has brought pain into their lives. Again, such people should communicate to God their hurt and their desperation. But it is unwise and always sinful to be angry with God for allowing us the natural consequences of the choices we make. God is good. God does not owe us mercy.

 

I have to admit that the Lord has been incredibly gracious to me. I can think of event after event in my young life where my choices could have led to dramatically destructive consequences. God graciously did not allow me to face what my folly deserved. But if he had, he would not have wronged me. And if I had faced consequences for my foolish choices, I would not have had any right to act as though God had wronged me.

 

Anger with God is always dangerous. Remember, God is holy. His perfection is limitless. Thus, he has never wronged anybody at any time. If you feel anger toward God, do not hide it from him or pretend it is not there. Talk to God. But try to do so humbly, confessing your sin to the Lord and seeking his mercy in Christ.

There is an interesting flaw in the way that many of us look at the book of Job. First, we tend to look at the first 2 chapters, skip the poetic section, and read the end. It is as if we think that God inspired 42 chapters, but only 3 of them matter. Of course, I understand that it is hard to mentally work through the repetition of chapters 3-ff, but we really need to be engaged.

 

One of the things that we miss is the fact that Job was not perfectly righteous in all his response. Yes, in chapters 1-2, we see that Job did not sin with his lips. But that was before his friends came to “comfort” him. After his friends came, they told Job that his suffering was because of personal sin. In response, Job defended himself and began to accuse the Lord of doing wrong. That is sin.

 

In case you are not sure whether Job knew he sinned in the book, note that Job declares that he repents: “therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes” (42:6). In his debate with his friends, Job went too far and was not honoring to the Lord. It is one thing to ask questions; it is another to make accusations. Job put himself in a very dangerous position.

 

Another passage that helps us here is the beginning of the speech of Elihu.

 

Job 32:1-3 – 1 So these three men ceased to answer Job, because he was righteous in his own eyes. 2 Then Elihu the son of Barachel the Buzite, of the family of Ram, burned with anger. He burned with anger at Job because he justified himself rather than God. 3 He burned with anger also at Job’s three friends because they had found no answer, although they had declared Job to be in the wrong.

 

Elihu is the only voice in the conversation with Job who does not sin. In fact, Elihu shows us the right response to all of what has happened. What we expect to be true is true: Elihu is angry with Job’s 3 friends for accusing Job of wrong and not having an answer to job’s questions. But we also see something we do not expect. We see Elihu burning with anger against Job because Job attempted to justify himself rather than God.

 

Elihu shows us so much about the book, and his speech is so often skipped by readers who do not want to slog through the poetry of Job. But to miss Elihu is to miss the failing of Job. To miss Elihu is to miss the fact that Job did too much to try to make himself look right and God look wrong. To miss Elihu is to miss an important spiritual check we should perform when we hurt.

 

In so many ways, the book of Job is intended to show us right and wrong responses to personal suffering. Job’s 3 friends show us that we dare not assume that we know why God allows certain people to go through certain hardships. So, when we see a city ravaged by a hurricane or a nation’s economy collapse, we must not assume we understand the motivation of the Lord in allowing such a thing. We dare not tell somebody that they are suffering a particular hardship because God is judging them. We just do not know enough of the ways of God to make that declaration.

 

At the same time, we must learn from Job, Job’s repentance, and Elihu’s rebuke of Job that, if we suffer, we must not accuse the Lord of wronging us. God is holy. His ways are beyond us. His judgments are sound. God does not do wrong. Nor does God have to explain to us his rationale. We are the creation. He is the Creator. We are the servants. He is the Master. We must not think that he owes us an explanation for how he uses us. God is holy and right, and that is what we must know and believe from beginning to end, even in pain.

It is funny how one’s view of the human body changes over time. As we get older, we learn the truth of mortality. We begin to understand what it feels like for our bodies to slow down, to weaken, or to break. When you are younger, the idea of death and disease is usually pretty far from your mindset. When you get older, even if you are in good health personally, you will have seen enough to know that life is short and uncertain.

 

How do we react to the body? How are we to understand what we face in the here and now? How can we have hope in a world under the curse of sin and living in bodies that are so easily damaged?

 

Philippians 3:20-21 – 20 But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, 21 who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself.

 

The promise of this passage is gold for one who understands the fact that life is short and our bodies are subject to the curse of the fall. Jesus promises us many things. He promises us heaven. He promises us forgiveness. he promises us joy in him if we have turned from our sin and entrusted ourselves to his care. And, as we see in the passage above, he has promised us transformed bodies.

 

Of course, this is not the only passage that speaks of a transformation to come. Paul writes about this with clarity at the end of 1 Corinthians 15 and hints at it in 1 Thessalonians 4. What a joy it is to consider that our bodies, whatever state they are in right now, are destined for an upgrade. Our bodies will be transformed. Our flesh will no longer break down. Our vision will be clear. Our arms will be strong. Our joints will not ache. Our noses will not run. Our organs will not get cancer. Our bones will not get brittle. Jesus promises us a body like his, a body destined to last for eternity.

 

Christians, we are to have hope in eternity. We long for heaven. We long for the glory of God. But do not stop longing for a new body that will be fit for the eternity to come. What a joy it will be to never have to worry about your health or safety. What a burden lifted it is to know that nothing will harm us ever again. And what a massive weight off our shoulders to know that our friends and loved ones who are in the Lord will never again face sickness, injury, or death. Praise God for the promise of a transformed body!

Jesus is God. This is a central doctrine of true Christianity. Any religion that lowers Jesus to a position below that of divinity—true, first-level, God the Creator divinity—actually denies the faith entirely. To see Jesus as a demigod, as a second-level deity, as a created being is to see Jesus differently than does Scripture. While Jesus and the Father are not the same person, Jesus, with the Father and Holy Spirit, are one God.

 

Because the deity of Christ is so central to our understanding of the faith, it is heart-warming to run across passages that you may not have noticed in the past where the deity of Christ is expressed. It is especially joyful to find a passage in the Old Testament that rings out clearly that the Savior is God.

 

With that in mind, consider this portion of a psalm, a text written centuries before Jesus’ incarnation:

 

Psalm 107:23-30

 

23 Some went down to the sea in ships,

doing business on the great waters;

24 they saw the deeds of the Lord,

his wondrous works in the deep.

25 For he commanded and raised the stormy wind,

which lifted up the waves of the sea.

26 They mounted up to heaven; they went down to the depths;

their courage melted away in their evil plight;

27 they reeled and staggered like drunken men

and were at their wits’ end.

28 Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble,

and he delivered them from their distress.

29 He made the storm be still,

and the waves of the sea were hushed.

30 Then they were glad that the waters were quiet,

and he brought them to their desired haven.

 

How familiar is that story to a New Testament Christian? Remember, however, that this is a poem written centuries before the time of Jesus on earth. The psalmist imagined the work of God in saving desperate men on the sea. But the story rings in our New testament ears of something that quite literally happened. We remember Jesus, asleep in the boat while the storm tossed it about, awakened by his disciples and calming the sea.

 

Look specifically at verse 28. Upon whom did the desperate men cry? They cried to the Lord. The spelling in our text tells us that they did not cry to simply an authority, but to the God of the Bible, to Yahweh, to the I Am. In the New Testament, the disciples cried, not to a general expression of divinity, but personally to Jesus. And Jesus, the Lord, calmed the sea. Thus, we see a clear proclamation, from centuries earlier, fulfilled in Jesus, that Jesus is God.

When Paul was put in prison and wrote to the people of Philippi, he expected to be released from that trial. Paul had preached the gospel, and he had made it to Rome by appealing to Caesar as a Roman citizen. Early in Philippians chapter 1, Paul rejoices that, because of his trial and imprisonment, he knows that many in the palace, many of the royal family, have heard the message of Jesus.

 

Though Paul expects to be delivered, he also knows that death is a possibility. Paul knows that, if he catches the Emperor on a bad day or if someone opposes him in just the right way, this entire appeal could end in Paul’s own execution. So, at the time of writing Philippians, Paul is between life and death, and the gap is not large at all.

 

Philippians 1:19-21 – 19 for I know that through your prayers and the help of the Spirit of Jesus Christ this will turn out for my deliverance, 20 as it is my eager expectation and hope that I will not be at all ashamed, but that with full courage now as always Christ will be honored in my body, whether by life or by death. 21 For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

 

Verse 21 is one of those verses that many of us know. But, we are not always diligent to look at it closely, simply because it is so familiar. So, consider a little more deeply the phrase “to live is Christ, to die is gain.”

 

John Piper points out that this is a parallel statement. Like the poetry of the Psalms, this pithy phrase from Paul has two items that are compared. If you see it with the comparison being made, you will see that something unexpected is written.

 

Looking at the phrase, we see right away that “to live” is contrasted with “to die.” Paul knows that these opposite outcomes are possible in his trial. Typically, then, we would expect that, if the subjects are opposite, the result of those subjects will also be opposite. We expect something like: to win is good, to lose is bad. We expect, “To live is good, to die is bad.” That is how we feel, especially when our eyes are  on this life alone.

 

Paul says that to live is Christ. He expects that his life, should it be prolonged after the trial, will be to the glory of Jesus. Paul will know Jesus more and present Jesus more if he lives. Paul will live in the light of the knowledge and glory of Jesus. Paul will have joy in Christ if he lives.

 

Now, here is where the point gets beautiful. We expect the opposite statement to follow. To die must be something unwanted. But Paul concludes the parallel with “to die is gain.” If Paul lives, he gets joy in the glory of Christ. But if Paul is executed by the Romans, that he says is gain. Paul benefits infinitely if he dies. How can that be true? Paul has a grasp of the glory of God and the infinite wonder and joy of heaven.

 

Do you grasp that to live is Christ and to die is gain? Do you grasp that your life here on earth is to be to the glory of Jesus and for the service of Jesus? Do you understand that life is good and that living is something you want to do? At the same time, do you see that death, for the believer, in the timing of God, is gain?

 

A Christian should not do anything to try to bring his or her life to an early end. But, we should also have an eternal perspective about life and death. When it is time for the Lord to call us home, we must learn to cry, “Gain!” WE should see that crossing out of this life and into eternity is the step that will bring us the greatest joy imaginable. We should see that we live for Christ in this life, and that is good. But in the next, we stand face-to-face with Christ, and that is gain. 

See if this scenario feels normal for you. There is a right thing you could say or a kind act you could perform. But, as you evaluate the situation, you think about the person you would be kind to. You know their character. You know they will not actually appreciate it. You know they won’t really respond to you with the kindness your act deserves. So you decide that doing the good thing, the right thing, is not really worth it in the end.

 

If that is a familiar part of your life, consider Paul’s words to slaves in Ephesians 6.

 

Ephesians 6:5-8 – 5 Slaves, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, 6 not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as servants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart, 7 rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, 8 knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a slave or free.

 

Paul called the slaves living in the Roman Empire to serve well. He called them to work hard, and not merely when the master was watching. Paul called these folks to right behavior, even when it would not really make an ounce of difference in the life of the slave.

 

In verse 8, Paul tells us that we should serve and do rightly, even if it does not make an earthly difference, because, “whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord.” The apostle reminds us that we work hard and do right, not because it will make a difference here, but because the Lord will rightly reward those children of his who do right for the sake of the honor of the Lord.

 

Consider this the next time you know what is right, you know what needs to be said, you know how something ought to be done, but you are discouraged because you do not think your act will be appreciated. Do what is right, even if it will not make a difference on earth. The Lord sees. It is the Lord we serve. And so we will serve faithfully, we will do kindness, we will cling to Scriptural morality, we will obey the Lord, even if it does not make a difference, because the Lord will see, be honored, and reward his faithful followers.

How do you speak to others? What do people around you say about your conversation? Is your talk kind or very sharp? When you joke with others, are the remarks sarcastic and cutting?

 

I want to visit a verse that so often is used when we challenge each other to be careful with our humor. But, before we look at it, I do want to say that what has my attention as I look at it is not the more familiar part, so stay with me.

 

Ephesians 4:29 – Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

 

What is corrupting talk? In context, we are talking about lying and, in the next chapter, being crude is in view. A study of the original language shows us that the word Paul used is a word for bad or rotten as in the bad fruit on a tree. Certainly, the speech is corrupt and foul.

 

Of course this means that evil talk, false talk, God-dishonoring talk must not be a part of who we are. We need to watch our mouths.

 

But what about humor? I’ve heard this verse used many times for not being a mean joker. Does that actually not apply?

I think, if we follow the way that Paul is writing here, the primary meaning of that first phrase is certainly ugly, base, crude, sinful speech. But I also think, in application, we can say that we need to check our speech, even the way we tease each other, to see if it is rotten.

 

The next part of the phrase talks about building each other up. Again, on the surface, this has to do with doing each other good, edifying, uplifting sort of speech. We want to speak truth to each other. We also want to speak cleanly to each other, not bringing corruption into each other’s lives with our words. So, again, though harsh and quippy language is not at the center of the author’s intent, it could be captured in this verse as an appropriate application.

 

But the final phrase is what got my attention today: that it may give grace to those who hear. Our speech is supposed to be grace-giving. That is where, at the end of the day, we will have to check our words more and more. When you talk, do people who have spoken with you feel like they have been given grace? Do people who hear you feel encouraged, comforted, and refreshed? Do those to whom you speak see the mercy of Christ in how you speak to them?

 

Now we are getting somewhere. Something about my words to you and your words to me should repeatedly sound the note of grace in each other’s lives. Something about the way I treat you and you treat me should make us see ourselves as gifted by God with life and mercy.

 

Let me apply that part in two categories. First, for the extra serious among us, you need to check your speech. Often the higher and loftier one’s speech, the sharper and more condemning we can sound. Do people walk away from conversations with you, from the spiritual conversations you crave, and sense the mercies of Christ? Or, on the other hand, do you by your style of communication leave them feeling that they do not live up to your standards for what a Christian should be? Do you make it hard for average people to want to talk with you because you are always showing them their faults without showing them God’s grace?

 

Of course this is not a call not to rebuke or train others. But, if we are honest, we all know that extra spiritual person with whom we dread a conversation because they just do not bring joy and life and mercy into our day. And, if you are a Christian, if you are a deep thinker, if you are serious about your faith, and if you do not know such a person, please examine yourself to see if you are that person. Do not back off truth. But strive to help those who hear you also hear of the love, the grace, the kindness, the tender mercies of Christ in their lives. Build them up, but build gently and sweetly.

 

Second, on the front of humor, the place I so often hear this verse applied, the call to mercy is a big deal. When you are teasing your friends, when you are just having fun, when you get in a good shot, is there any way that you are building them up in mercy? I would suggest to you that the answer is probably no. When we center relationships on cutting humor, we cannot, at the same time, be helping each other to see the love of God and the mercy of Christ. And so we need to reevaluate how much we treasure following the worldly model of a snappy comeback as a major form of communication.

 

Here would be my suggestion: Do not lose your humor, but focus your barbs on yourself or on fun and funny things that are not people. There is so much that is hilarious in this world to laugh at that you do not have to find your humor by making fun of your friends or your enemies. Laugh at yourself. Laugh at your own flaws. Laugh at the humor to be found in life in general. But guard against trying to score comedy points at the expense of others. You never know that your words are not cutting more deeply than you realize. And you are certainly forming a habit that is very hard to break. And, looking back at this verse, you are not building up another nor are you showing them the mercies of God.

 

At this point in the program, many of us fight back with some sort of comment about how this is just how my friends and I communicate. We argue that this is just who we are, and our friends understand us. Let me urge you to revisit this verse and its calls and ask you to reconsider, not if this is who you are, but if it is who you should be. We can better magnify the Lord when we are careful not to let our tongues slice at others.

 

And, to finish with mercy, let me say that I am by no means immune to this flaw. I grew up thinking that a quick wit and a clever barb was a great way to become the center of attention. It’s fun to have everyone think you are just so funny. But the truth is, I had to repent (and I continue to repent), because I want to leave people with whom I talk with a stronger grasp of the grace and mercy of God. God worked on me, and is still working on me here. Can I urge you as well, if this is a struggle, to be encouraged. God wants to work on you and shape you into a more God-honoring friend to others. God can work on you to be someone whose speech is always full of grace, seasoned with salt, pointing to Christ. Want more of that. Keep humor in life with kindness. Build others up for the honor of our Lord.

How do Christianity and Old Covenant law go together? Of course there are thousands of pages in loads of books given to this topic. But for the ordinary believer, what do we do with the law? Does it apply? Does it not? Do parts apply and parts not?

 

I have been pondering those points for a bit, and so it was interesting to read the following from Paul in my daily reading:

 

Ephesians 2:13-16 – 13 But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. 14 For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility 15 by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, 16 and might reconcile us both to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility.

 

Contextually, Paul has been showing the Ephesians the glory of their salvation. In 2:1-10, Paul showed them the glory of being saved by grace alone through faith alone. He showed them that our faith is a gift given to us by God which moves us from death to life and prepares us, after we are saved, to live for his glory.

 

Then, in the section beginning with 2:11, Paul shows that the Ephesians, gentiles by birth, have not only been saved but have also been brought into the singular people of God. Before, during Old Covenant times, there were two groupings in the world: Jew and gentile—circumcised and uncircumcised. But now, in Christ, God has made a massive change. No longer are gentiles required to enter the Old Covenant Judaism in order to find the grace of God. Now, God has broken down that dividing wall between Jew and gentile to make a single group, a single family, the people of God.

 

In that creation of the New Covenant people, it is interesting to see that Paul says in 2:15 that God did all this by “abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances.” Something has been abolished, done away with, from the old system. Something that divided Jew and gentile is now gone. Something has changed to enact a greater, better covenant.

 

What do we know for sure about this abolishing? For sure, we know that New Covenant believers are no longer required to follow any form of the law that is often labeled ceremonial. We do not sacrifice animals any longer. We do not burn a particular incense in a temple any longer. We do not burn a grain offering any longer. We do not keep particular religious festivals by requirement any longer. All of that part of the law was a dim shadow that pointed toward the perfect righteousness and sacrificial work of Christ. Jesus fulfilled it all.

 

There are also Old Covenant laws relating to Israel as a nation. There were rules that God gave which simply set the Israelite apart from the rest of the world, identifying him or her as a unique individual who claimed a place in the nation. This was clear in dietary laws, in dress code, in circumcision, in farming practices, and in other such things. These, most would agree, were unique to Israel as a nation-state, and are not required today. Add to those laws the ones that focus on the national civil law code of Israel. Laws about what to do if my ox kills yours, about railings on my roof, about punishment for theft, or about property inheritance within clans are not laws that most would say Christians ought to keep. Christ is our king, fulfilling all nationalistic requirements, and we are now under his rule.

 

But then there are the parts of the law that are moral. Those laws reveal to us the character of God and his desires for human behavior. Such laws include God’s proclamations about marriage, sexuality, violence, kindness, family, parenting, etc. Are those laws abolished too? It really depends on what you understand when you say abolished. If you believe that even the moral law is something that we keep in order to be saved, then you should consider the law abolished. God will not save any person or call them his own because of their keeping of any moral law, even the ones we still champion today. So, in one sense, even the moral law is abolished. Christ fulfilled it on our behalf just as he fulfilled the ceremonial law.

 

Of course, that last paragraph would be horrifying to me if taken out of context. This is because, though the moral law is not a requirement we must meet for salvation, we learn in the moral commands of the Old Testament and those in the New Testament the kinds of behaviors and values that honor the Lord. And though all laws are fulfilled by Christ on behalf of those he died to save, we do not then rightly choose to behave in opposition to the standards God gave us in those commands. This, by the way, is something Paul repeatedly argued for in his writings. He would proclaim us free from law, and then he would challenge us not to sin just because we are under grace. The moral law is fulfilled by Christ on our behalf, and now we live to please the lord based on what he has revealed is pleasing to him in all of his word. We follow God’s revealed morality, not out of legal duty, but out of loving delight in the glory of our Lord.

 

Let’s look at a simple example. God forbade murder in the Old Testament law. But I just said the law is abolished. Does that mean I can now murder? No way. Setting aside the fact that the prohibition against murder is affirmed in the New Testament, the Old Testament showed us that murder is in itself an attack on the Lord himself. To willfully murder a human being who is an image of God is to attack the God of that image. Murder attacks God. So, even if there were no law code in place at all, Christians would (or should) understand that murder is morally wrong because of the truths and values that the Lord has revealed all through his word.

 

So, is the law abolished? Yes and no. Yes, the law is abolished if you are thinking of it as a set of rules we follow to be defined as the people of God. Christ fulfilled all law in that way. Yes, the law is abolished if you are thinking about laws that would make us look like Old Testament Israel. Christ fulfilled all of those. The law is abolished if you are thinking even of moral commandments as ways to earn the favor of the Lord, because Christ fulfilled those and earned the only earned favor anyone will ever earn. But do we then live in lawlessness? Of course we do not. WE live according to the word of God, because the word of God reveals to us the commands of God and the ways of God for those who have been brought into his family. So, we still value life, protect marriage, live graciously with each other, show compassion, avoid immorality, and battle sin, not out of law, but because battling sin is part of what those people do who have been changed by God and who desire to be sanctified, to look more and more like Jesus each day of our lives.

Here is a question for us: Is truth spoken always good? Is even good counsel always right to give?

 

I want you to look at the following counsel offered to a man in distress. How wise and right does it seem?

 

 

“As for me, I would seek God,

and to God would I commit my cause,

who does great things and unsearchable,

marvelous things without number:

 

Now, that is good advice for someone who is struggling, isn’t it? How can it not be perfect and right to tell someone, in their sorrow, to seek God, because God does amazing things?

 

Contextually, the words above are not good counsel. They are spoken by Eliphaz to Job in chapter 5, verses 8 and 9. Eliphaz is in the process of condemning Job. Eliphaz simply cannot imagine that Job is suffering so much without having offended God in some way to deserve it. So, the words of Eliphaz, words that sound so wonderfully true on their surface, are actually nasty things flung at a hurting man to basically tell him to stop sinning and start seeking God so that everything will be OK again.

 

We need to learn from this as we help hurting friends. It is not enough that our words are true. It is not enough that our counsel is right. After all, who could argue that even Job needs to seek the Lord? But apt counsel must be truth spoken in love and with wisdom.

 

For example, a person who has just lost a loved one may not need to hear from you a pithy recitation of Romans 8:28. Yes, God does work all things together for good for those who love him and are called according to his great purpose. But, not all things are good. And not all moments are the right time to try to fix a persons theology of suffering and sovereignty. Sometimes we need to weep with those who weep more than we need to unload our doctrine on them, even if our doctrine is good.

 

Here is an example of something very true, intended to encourage, that was not wisely or well spoken. I was standing at the funeral home greeting people who were offering their condolences to me and my family after my father passed away. Many people, of course, wanted to offer me comfort by pointing to the fact that my dad is in heaven, with the Lord. But one particular conversation felt so wrong. A person came and expressed to me his sorrow for our loss. Then he asked me if my dad was a believer. When I said that my dad had come to faith in Christ, the person said to me, “Well, I’m sorry for your loss, but not that sorry.” He was meaning to say to me that the sorrow is lessened for us knowing that heaven is real. But, it was not at all a comforting way to express even a true and doctrinally sound thought.

 

Interestingly, in case you want to know what I found most comforting in the funeral line, it was when someone just shook my hand or hugged me and said something like, “I’m sorry.” A simple expression of grieving with us over our loss was most helpful. Those who wanted to encourage by making the funeral home a teaching moment were far less helpful than those who just made it clear that they cared about us.

 

Christians, think well as you offer words of counsel. The point here is that you can say very true things and not help. You can say perfectly biblical things and not encourage. Ask yourself what would encourage you. Ask yourself if now is the time to offer a teaching. Ask yourself if they already know what you are planning to say to them. Ask yourself what will show your love most. Of course you must not compromise the truth. But truth aptly spoken is far more valuable than true words poorly put.